You walk in. You are seated at a booth near a window. A woman with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth drops off a menu at your table and slams down a glass of water in front of you, splashing some of it on your shirt. She does not notice or apologize. She walks away. A bunch of LARPers walk into the diner. A grue walks up and mistakes you for a waffle. It tries to eat you. Turn to page 50 to defend yourself. Turn to page 72 to run away.
Hahahahaha! Thank you so much! Honestly! I laughed through the whole read! You captured the language perfectly! I haven't read one of those since I was a kid and I was instantly brought back!!! I can see you were a fellow lover of those awesome books! I swear I read every single one in the three surrounding libraries growing up. Seriously, in all seriousness, if you ever actually write a choose your own adventure for adults, let me know because I will absolutely buy a copy!!!
And definitely pg. 50, and defend myself! Although I kinda have a feeling that's the dumb decision and will definitely end up getting me killed.
With regard to the spoon, a brief story. Milton Friedman invented payroll withholding of income taxes and socialist insecurity in late 1941. It was originally called "the victory tax" when implemented in early 1942. Of course, victory in ww2 came and went and the tax never went away. So much for the "greatest generation" doing much for freedom. But, as a result of this perfidy on his part, Milt was given a show on PBS called "Free to Choose." Not a terrible show as far as free market economics goes. He did an episode where he goes to some private construction activities. Very efficient, only a few workers, only one supervisor. Then he and the camera crew go to a public sector job site where a similar road is being repaired. Lots of supervisors standing around, lots of people digging in the ground. With shovels. So old Miltie asks the head mf in charge why they are using shovels and not a back hoe to do the work. Oh, says hmfic, that's because we can use more workers, and that's better for the local economy, so we give them shovels. Miltie asks, "Why not give them spoons?"
In other news, we were in Faneuil Hall in Boston many long years ago and the fish of the day, the waitress said, was "scrod." My mom, ever the English professor, said, "I didn't know there was a past pluperfect."
I understand that not everyone has dealt at any length with a living goose, let alone geese. But the description from Lovecraft is apt.
My childhood BFF's kid sister was taught by her parents that the plural of moose is meese. They called this planting of misinformation "setting an idiot bomb." She ended up dating a Canadian boy and they had a big fight which included screaming, "MY PARENTS WOULD NEVER LIE TO ME!!" and then marching into the other room with the cordless phone to "prove" it, only to find the rest of us on the floor laughing. 🤣
I was the one who set off her sister's idiot bomb. She had the same reaction, verbatim. Hers was "the abdominal snowman." 🤣🤣🤣
Yes! I come from creamed chipped beef sandwiched between scrapple and fried squirrel!
I've been looking for a way to describe my Appalachian roots, other than saying warsher and Warshington.
I want that choose your own adventure. Tell me you're working on it! 😜
Ha! Pick a page.
That's really tough, but I gotta go with p.21. Every good major adventure starts in a waffle house
You walk in. You are seated at a booth near a window. A woman with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth drops off a menu at your table and slams down a glass of water in front of you, splashing some of it on your shirt. She does not notice or apologize. She walks away. A bunch of LARPers walk into the diner. A grue walks up and mistakes you for a waffle. It tries to eat you. Turn to page 50 to defend yourself. Turn to page 72 to run away.
Hahahahaha! Thank you so much! Honestly! I laughed through the whole read! You captured the language perfectly! I haven't read one of those since I was a kid and I was instantly brought back!!! I can see you were a fellow lover of those awesome books! I swear I read every single one in the three surrounding libraries growing up. Seriously, in all seriousness, if you ever actually write a choose your own adventure for adults, let me know because I will absolutely buy a copy!!!
And definitely pg. 50, and defend myself! Although I kinda have a feeling that's the dumb decision and will definitely end up getting me killed.
You have been eaten by a grue.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
With regard to the spoon, a brief story. Milton Friedman invented payroll withholding of income taxes and socialist insecurity in late 1941. It was originally called "the victory tax" when implemented in early 1942. Of course, victory in ww2 came and went and the tax never went away. So much for the "greatest generation" doing much for freedom. But, as a result of this perfidy on his part, Milt was given a show on PBS called "Free to Choose." Not a terrible show as far as free market economics goes. He did an episode where he goes to some private construction activities. Very efficient, only a few workers, only one supervisor. Then he and the camera crew go to a public sector job site where a similar road is being repaired. Lots of supervisors standing around, lots of people digging in the ground. With shovels. So old Miltie asks the head mf in charge why they are using shovels and not a back hoe to do the work. Oh, says hmfic, that's because we can use more workers, and that's better for the local economy, so we give them shovels. Miltie asks, "Why not give them spoons?"
In other news, we were in Faneuil Hall in Boston many long years ago and the fish of the day, the waitress said, was "scrod." My mom, ever the English professor, said, "I didn't know there was a past pluperfect."
I understand that not everyone has dealt at any length with a living goose, let alone geese. But the description from Lovecraft is apt.
My childhood BFF's kid sister was taught by her parents that the plural of moose is meese. They called this planting of misinformation "setting an idiot bomb." She ended up dating a Canadian boy and they had a big fight which included screaming, "MY PARENTS WOULD NEVER LIE TO ME!!" and then marching into the other room with the cordless phone to "prove" it, only to find the rest of us on the floor laughing. 🤣
I was the one who set off her sister's idiot bomb. She had the same reaction, verbatim. Hers was "the abdominal snowman." 🤣🤣🤣
Should the expression be "Your Unspeakable Cosmic Horror is cooked"?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣